I know that 2020 was not ideal for most of us. Some of us have lost loved ones. Some of us lost jobs. Some of us were so close to losing our minds. But if you're reading this, YOU MADE IT!
The year 2020 taught me so much about myself. It taught me how to be STILL. If you know me, then you know that I am the MAD HATTER. I wear multiple hats from being a mommy, a teacher, a cheer coach, chef, taxi cab, atm, aunt, friend, etc. But when COVID shut us down, I had no choice but to be still. Being still allowed me to regain focus and get back to Mattye. It gave me time to put things in perspective. I found that I was focusing on things that necessarily weren't for me. I had to let go of my son's father being apart of his world. Because it's his loss because he's missing out on moments that make my heart smile. I was striving to be this perfect mom, and if we are being honest there is no such thing.
It taught me to speak KINDLY to myself. I had to remember that I am doing the best that I can. It's okay if I do not get it all done in one day. It's okay to have bad days, but I can't let those bad moments outweigh everything else that is good in my life. Because waking up to Declan's smile and laugh is music to my ears.
It taught me to give myself GRACE. Before finding out I was pregnant, I was working out and eating better. I was feeling good. But after having my son my body was not where it was before. I did not like what I was seeing in the mirror. Everyone around me reminded me that it was okay, but until I realized it. It would go in one ear and out the other. Not only did I make and carried Declan for nine months, but I also underwent surgery to have him. It's okay Mattye, the weight will come off. I am pretty sure all the mommas can relate.
But most importantly it taught me to LOVE myself. Love me through the pain. Love me when I don't get it right. Love me in the good as well as the bad times. And love me because I am doing whatever it takes and, that is just enough.
What did 2020 teach you?