• Mattye Hargrow

The One that Matters

We all have that scar that has a story behind it. Whether you got it during a family vacation or you got it from hanging out with your friends in your neighborhood. It's like a right of passage. Well, my scar is a little different. My scar started my journey as a MOMMA.

My scar reminds me every day of the sacrifice I made to bring Declan into this world safely. Was it my first choice? NOT! Was it the safest choice? ABSOLUTELY YES!

When the doctor came in and told me that we were going in to have the emergency c-section, my first thought was the WHAT IF'S? What if I don't heal correctly? What if something goes wrong while I am cut open? What if I don't make it? I never wanted to dwell on the negative, but I am human. You hear about all these horror stories about c-section, and that was my worst fear.

As I laid on the table for what felt like forever, Declan was born in under 10 minutes. As they held him up over the blue sheet that was protecting my face, a sense of relief came upon me. The tears were not only because he was born but because my body and my God never failed me.

Now the recovery after the c-section to me was worse than the actual "labor." The recovery time for a c-section is 6-8 weeks. It was the longest eight weeks of my life. I never realized how much I depended on my ab muscles until that was not an option. Not being able to stand straight up was hard. Getting out the bed relying solely on my upper body strength was hard. I had to hold my stomach to laugh and to show emotion because the pain would be unbearable. To having nurses and my mom bathe me while I stood in the shower shaking from the amount of pain to watching the blood trickle down my leg and the tears running down my cheeks. However, the hardest part for me was asking for help and resting. I was so used to doing things on my own for so long that now I had to switch my mindset to rely on my tribe especially when Declan came home.

But I say this all to say that my scar has shown me my strength. It has shown me my resilience. It has shown me that just because it looks one way, in the beginning, does not mean it's FOREVER.

I dedicate this blog to all the mommas like myself. That scar is OUR testimony. That scar is the WHY in our life. You are strong, resilient and, powerful. Put your cape and pat yourself on the back because YOU CAN DO IT.

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